2023 Runner-Up at the 25th Victorian ABIA Awards!
Snobbery is just what the proletariat jealously calls class, and your bourgeois sensibilities need not be offended by the invalid opinions of mere plebs.
To solidify your position on the food chain, host a most delightful soiree (known to common man as a ‘party’) and showcase just how high-born you really are with these 5 tips.
- Master your aristocratic laugh
While forcing your jaw forward and maintaining breathy, short, sharp bleats is a great start, take it up a notch by laughing to the tune of a popular anthem circulating amongst the youngsters. Perhaps something of the “popular music” genre or what the youth call the “hip RNB”. Who says the upper classes are out of touch!
- Impress with cultural knowledge
Having more culture than a tub of yoghurt is a must for aristocratic types. While the Phillistines may be aware of general knowledge, exceed their working class mental limitations by researching and learning about every possibly conceivable topic, even those that may be of little to no consequence to your life. Should you be unsure of the topic in discussion, elevate your standing by remarking on how “common” activities are below you…
- Mastering your body language
Your body needs to be as stiff as your upper lip with limited gesticulation to show you have your wits about you, creating an air of superiority. Take a position akin to rigamortis but only use your arms to express yourself during conversation. A popular form is the “t-rex” arm, where both arms are pulled in tightly to the body and the hands are the only things that move. Move your hand up and down for approval, and side to side for offhand disdain (if you’ll pardon the pun, *chortles* how delightful!).
- An inter-continental travel repertoire
Not only should your amount of travel denote the standing of your finances, but also the full posture of your life experience! Be sure to visit a plethora of locales and be sure to mention so as often as possible, to anyone in ear shot, at every possible moment, be you (or they) conscious or unconscious. You’re sure to impress any ‘dogsbody’ with the utter whimsy of your boundless global lifestyle.
- Go Gourmet for your sophisticated soiree
Bring your soiree to the pinnacle of class with a menu that’s sure to impress. Foie gras, hors d’oeuvres, and anything that is a delight to the senses should be included in your fine dining experience. For those local delicacies that you want to embrace, just translate them into French to add a high culture “touche”.
Fabulous Catering’s menu has a bevy of most delightful finger foods and meals that are sure to impress your guests, saving your reputation and wallet from hierarchical catastrophe! Maintain your position at the apex of high society and contact us today to discuss your event. We’ll assist you with everything you need to add flair to your event – just visit our Gourmet Catering page to see our delicious menus and Contact Us for a quote.